Friday, December 30, 2005

You Want Answers? Depth of Focus?

"I want the TRUTH! Depth of Focus!"
"You can't HANDLE the TRUTH! Depth of Focus!"

(Sometime you need to ADD your own drama to the shot.
Diane Arbus told me that once.)

Coming Rain (Repost)

Posted in apprehension of Photo Friday: Best of 2005

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Calf and a Half (Again)

Reposted yet again for Best of Half Nekkid Thursday 2005.
This was an easy choice given that my only other entry was a nasty looking post-IV bruise.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive. Round 2 Open Closed

Prairie Girl recently took a FAR SUPERIOR PHOTO of this pen and told a little story about it prompting me to IMMEDIATELY comment and tell her that I wanted it. She emailed me back and told me that I didn't because it was just a cheap disposable and the ink had all dried up and what does it say about Germans that they produce disposable fountain pens ANYWAY?

That made me want it even more. And truth be told, I also wanted the ridiculously valuable paper she has used as a background for it and other photos but if I have learned anything in this life, Gentle Viewers, it is how far one can push a Prairie Girl. Instead I asked for a coin and she graciously included yet ANOTHER pen that doesn't write AND one of the seed pod things seen immediately below the pen photo.

Now HERE if the stuff that legends are made of. I propose that in the spirit of Prairie Girls' generosity:

1. I will mail it to the first person who asks and will provide, of course, a mailing address. P.O. Boxes are OK, you bunch of Paranoid Gentle Viewers.
2. Given that I have taken the lamest photo of it, (I set the bar the LOWEST), YOU take a photo of it.
3. You post the photo, refer back to THIS post which will in turn refer back to the original post...and the next person refers to you...and on and on...

It should be easy enough to find when this chain thing stops.

Who's in? Indicate in the comments and email me your mailing address.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Christmas Cookies

The Photographer is IN. Posts will be more sporadic for a while until I build up the archives a little. I see even Mr Sun is taking the week off (http://mrsun.us) and nothing good can come from that.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Maine Collision Center with the Kung Fu Grip!

A car barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic car. Better than it was before. Better, stronger, faster. DANANANAAAAA - Oscar Goldman, 1974.

Well, he didn't say the Danananaaaaa part. Ok, maybe it wasn't THAT dramatic, BUT they completed it 12 days sooner than anyone else said THEY could do it and the last 4 days it just sat there because Darling's Honda couldn't get the right part in time.

Verrrrrrry pleased. I'd show you the car all completed but it just looks like new. That's boring. Well, unless you are driving it around, then it's nice.

DING! DONG! DING! DONG! Christmas Bells are RINGING

It's funny after 40 some Christmases discovering a Christmas song you hadn't known before. Today's is 'Caroling Caroling' by Nat King Cole.

This is the steeple of the Hammond Street Congregational Church. They began lighting the belfry after a recent renovation. I'm not sure if it's historically accurate but I like it anyway.
As some Gentle Viewers may know, this is a view from my apartment. I am posting it for Soon-to-be Gentle Viewer and Coworker 'Miss Vicky' who is convinced that my life consists of taking photos, putting them online and hanging out in my apartment. (Yeah? So?) She has even developed a series of signs for me. Miming using a camera, typing, then pointing to me, then a gesture best dscribed as the "Safe" call from baseball. Quite fitting.

And given this view, some Gentle Viewers may ask why I live in such a Burgermeister Meisterburger setting high above the town?

It's easier to defend.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Last Photo of the Lucerne Inn

I am posting this for two reasons. One, I think dusk is better than the dark photo, and two, I got tired of Mean Don glaring at me when I looked here.

And this is the last photo of the Lucerne Inn, not because there aren't more great shots to take of it or that I'm tired of it, but because the restraining order mandates that I no longer stop at this location. :)

Sunday, December 18, 2005

The Lucerne Inn

When Bangor Metro Magazine called for a photo of this inn they said they were looking for a photo of it in winter. Next year if they call, I'll be better prepared. (In more ways than one. Heh heh)

For Gentle Viewers 'From Away', there is no Lucerne, Maine, Lake Lucerne or Lucerne Village as some pretentious local yuppie wanna-bes put it. It's Phillip's Lake in Dedham. ;)

(Man, I am NEVER going to get paid for a photo of the Lucerne Inn NOW!)

MacroDay: Simple

This is SO SIMPLE, that it's the type of macro photograph that the AMISH or MENNONITES or QUAKERS would take with THEIR digital cameras, transfer to THEIR computers and upload to MacroDay! If ummm...

Wait...do they USE tacks?

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Santa SockMonkey®

If you hate Christmas...
you CLEARLY do not have a Santa SockMonkey® for your tree.

That Dock in Hulls Cove Again (Coaxing the Moon to the South)

This image is a little better balanced.
I was telling Gentle Viewer Merlinprincesse that the the plastic animals photo came from moving them around when I realized that you could get them to all look at a common low point, except for the little pig which was looking up, so by moving him, it all fit together nicely.
Well now if she is concerned about the lonely Christmas tree, as she can now see, it is being looked upon by the moon.
THEY ARE FRIENDS! :)
Update: Laanba from Ars Nova threw down the gauntlet and said she prefers the other one to this one. She also called me a 'stupid head' (Ok, not in so many words) Let's geeeeet reeeeeeady to ruuuuuuumble! Vote in the comments! 1 yea and 1 nay so far.

That Dock in Hulls Cove (The Moon Continues To Do My Bidding)

This is the Christmas Tree that I THOUGHT Gentle Viewer, Patrick Kaine, wanted photos of. I tried some shots the day before and it was too dark and Gentle Viewer and Photo Editor KJ told me it sucked so I slunk (slinked, slanks, slunk?) back to try again.

Friday, December 16, 2005

.....now...............CUE THE MOON!

It's true, Gentle Viewers, the celestial bodies, the Sun, Moon, stars, everything moves at the bidding of your lowly and humble photographic servant.

It sounds cooler than it is, aside from fooling some primitive tribes into thinking you are a deity, it's not good for much else. It's not like controlling the weather or anything. My friend, Jenny Rainmaker, does that.

"The Full Cold Moon; or the Full Long Nights Moon - December During this month the winter cold fastens its grip, and nights are at their longest and darkest. It is also sometimes called the Moon before Yule. The term Long Night Moon is a doubly appropriate name because the midwinter night is indeed long, and because the Moon is above the horizon for a long time. The midwinter full Moon has a high trajectory across the sky because it is opposite a low Sun." - The Farmer's Almanac

My Signature Kicks Ass!

When I use 'jkirlin' as a moniker, *THAT* is what I'm talking about.

I used to use a normal first name, last name signature but it ran over the line due to the ridiculously and embarrassingly unwieldy credentials of my day job (M.A., CCC-SLP) on documentation at the hospital and they wouldn't give me a longer line.

I mentioned this to a Doc and he took a few minutes and we worked out this.

I love it. I rarely sign anything without making people look at it.

signed,

jkirlin, self absorbed boob.

The Thing of the Moment is ONE YEAR OLD!

I was going to give it a cake and then take photos of cake all over it's face to embarrass it when it's older but I hate when people do that and I'm not certain how much older it's going to be anyway.

Here is the Harper's Index® of The Thing of the Moment

45,282: Gentle Viewers who have visited this year.
300: The MB of storage Google gives you for image storage.
1500: How many 200 KB average images it takes to equal Google's storage limit.
1,701: Number of posts at The Thing of the Moment
283: Greatest number of Gentle Viewers in one day.
63: Highest level attained on Photoblogs.org Hot list
2: Number of times of 15 Hot List listings that I was ahead of GN Bassett instead the other way around.
768: Largest number of images on the front page before I was told to knock it off by Prairie Girl
53: Number of Favorites at Photoblogs.org. Two less than when I was pandering.
1 and 1/2: Number of my own calves posted here.
38: Number of comments it generated and highest number of comments for any photo.
2: Number of people who met and hooked up through MY blog!
0: Number of times I've hooked up through MY blog!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

NOOOOHOOOEL! NOHEEEEEEEEELL!

The effect really isn't done justice without hearing me screech that...

Submitted for lensday.com: Architecture

Oink! Oink! Oink! Oink!

Ever since he was little, he's needed to be the center of attention.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

The Thing of the Moment's Annual "Stuck in a Blizzard I Can't Get Out Of"® Photo

But like when I can't sleep, I had the camera to play with!
NOTHING moved for 45 minutes. I COULD have passed time with "Nurse Jackie, the School Nurse®" who was stuck behind me but after walking back to see her, it was CLEAR she didn't consider that an option.
And YOU are the luckier for it. Yes you, Gentle Viewer. Yep, you...right there. Not the others. Just you.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Photo Tuesday: Slip

The City installed this round metal railing as a humanitarian solution to the gulls landing on the old flat wooden railing.
As you can see, it works perfectly.

Monday, December 12, 2005

Insomnia II

I had just finished a book on Genghis Khan and started one on Eisenhower, so it's UNDERSTANDABLE I had trouble getting to sleep with all that excitement.

Don't try this at home, you crazy Gentle Viewers!

A MYSTERY IDENTIFIED! ADD YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS!

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Smooth

It's my balloon. Traffic is such a nuisance in Boston so when I go I usually take my balloon. I have a crew who travels by van to where it might land. They are lambs, Gentle Viewers, COMPLETE LAMBS! This day they collected me on the Common.
In this photo you can see me walking off the frame. I'm the dandy in the snappy blue blazer and shock of white hair.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

It May Or May Not Be Art, But It Is Art Supplies


This work illustrates not only my EXCEPTIONAL photographic skills, and MASTERY of Macrophotography and UNEQUALLED skills of subject slection but also my SUBTLE and BRILLIANT self deprecating humor.

Besides the accolades from hundreds of Gentle Viewers, and thousands of hits from Google, this photo also earned from the second grade teacher who loaned these to me without knowing why I wanted them the following statement:
"I don't want to know what you did with these but should I sterilize them?"

Christmas at the Bangor Theological Seminary

The Bangor Theological Seminary is no longer at this location. It moved to a more contemporary (cheaper to maintain) location on the Husson College Campus.
However, just before moving they did a few upgrades, one was lighting the bell tower at night, and the second is installing this wreath. This year the buildings are sitting dark and underused.
Lesson: TAKE PICS OF EVERYTHING, Gentle Viewers! Don't wait! Go now! Shoo!

Alt View to test Flickr.

The Trenton Bridge Lobster Pound Christmas Tree Sculpture thing with the ACTUAL TRENTON BRIDGE in the background. It does NOT get more real than this. EVER!

Friday, December 09, 2005

That Trenton Bridge Lobster Pound Christmas Tree Sculpture Thing

Gentle Viewer, Patrick Kaine, asked if I would be posting a photo of this or if it was below The Thing of the Moment. Gentle Viewers, nothing is below The Thing of the Moment. They make this thing every year out of wooden lobster crates (not traps) and wreaths. As far as kitchsy Christmas displays go, this one is a personal favorite. Posted by Picasa

Mea Culpa

Posted more crap to the blog just to participate in a photo meme, Photo Friday, after promising never to do that again.

I, your lowly and humble photographic servant, took it down this time.

I beg Gentle Viewer's forgiveness.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Photo Tuesday: Unposted.


A photo challenge that asks the photographer to post something for a theme that hasn't come up yet...

My Theme: The Glowey Top of your Attorney's Building at Night from Under a Curvy Streetlamp (Unlit)

I HAD THAT ONE DOWN! But alas, it never came up. Posted by Picasa

Monday, December 05, 2005

Instant Karma's Gonna Get You


Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin'
Join the human race - John Lennon

There's no such thing as bad luck, only more photoblogging material.

And of course, there's no need for Gentle Viewers to call their Brothers in Law who work for the DMV and have him run the plate. Tiz mine. Heh heh.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

The Thing of the Moment's Holiday Survival Guide.

We here at The Thing of the Moment have recently discovered that our Gentle Viewers are bunch of Grinchy Grinchersons.

Normally full of Peace on Earthisms and Goodwill Toward Menisms, they have soured.

At our monthly staff meeting where we decide the direction which we steer the ship known as The Thing of the Moment we only had ONE question: "Why?"

The Holidays.

Below, illustrated in changes to one photo in 4 steps, you will find what WE here at The Thing of the Moment find works for us.

Gentle Viewer Patrick Kaine issued a challenge this summer indicating that on a certain dock (that Gentle Viewer and avowed Communist Tom W and I had insulted) would have on it, a Holiday Tree (Formerly known as Christmas Tree)

THIS IS WHAT I FOUND when I went to get a photo of it. A crappy fake little bush surrounded by ugly clutter.

This, Gentle Viewers, by extension, represents your Holidays. Enjoy.

Now to begin, you have to identify what's bothering you, A gangplank dragged up onto the dock, a pole with a fake owl on it to keep seagulls from crapping all over, you don't have enough money or time. You are unloved.

GENTLE VIEWER! You aren't just unloved for the Holidays! You are unloved ALL YEAR! You don't let it ruin your Fourth of July do you?? Why let it ruin your ChristmaHannaKwanSoltice? You never have enough money or time. Quitcher bitchin!

So, DENY THE NEGATIVE.

Next, your Christmas Bonus wasn't enough or in existence, you didn't get the right gifts last year, you didn't have fun at your Holiday party. JKirlin would rather have a tooth filled than go to a Holiday (Formerly Christmas) party because at least his dentist will give him Nitrous Oxide. Boo Hoo, Gentle Viewer!

You have to focus on thing like people hanging pretty decorations on their homes for you to enjoy until May, that other random people may pretend to be less grumpy to show their fake Holiday Cheer, or at the very least, that TNT will be running it's annual A Christmas Story marathon. (As long as you didn't spend your cable TV money on gifts)

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE!

Finally, just take the whole damned Holiday thing and SPIN BABY SPIN! Suppress your gag reflex and do NOT change your local radio station which switched to ALL CHRISTMAS ALL THE TIME after Halloween. Do not glare hatefully at the Salvation Army Bell Ringers. REJOICE IN THEM!

Yes the holidays are too commercial! Yes they are shoved down our throats by retailers looking to pump up the bottom dollar! Yes your loved ones turn into money holes. Yes they are ingrates.

IGNORE THE TRUTH! Some would say The President does it! Do you think the truth prevented him from having his war in Iraq or enjoying it any less??? NooOOoOo! If he can do it over the war in Iraq, then by God you should be able to do it for the Holidays.

LIE AND EMBELLISH!

So these are your new Holidays. Scroll back up and see what you started with. We'll wait.

Is it perfect? Not by a long shot.

Is it better than that rat bastard Holiday funk you started out with? Yes.

All thanks to your The Thing of the Moment's Holiday Survival Guide!!!

You're welcome.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

That Dock in Southwest Harbor


You know, maybe I'm starting to like these, you Grinchy Grinchersons!!

Love - jkirlin, your holiday flipflopper.

Friday, December 02, 2005

That Bridge in Somesville.


This is so sweet and Christmassy that I could just PUKE! Quick, Gentle Viewer, be a lamb and hold back my hair!

Sweet Christ, I once vowed to never photograph this 'the most photographed bridge to nowhere in the World'.

But it was like a CAR ACCIDENT! I was on a mission for Gentle Viewer, Patrick Kaine, and I COULDN'T LOOK AWAY! I HAD to take this photo! But by God on high, YOU are the better for it.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

A Christmas Tree Seller Pop Quiz



Is this snowman _________________________________

a) A sign informing buyers of the starting prices of trees?

b) A whimsical piece of Americana/Folk Art that will someday be worth more on eBay than all the trees combined.

c) A warning to proofread your stenciling BEFORE you paint?

d) A sneakily designed device channeling the voice of Satan telling me to kill again?