Monday, December 16, 2002

FAQs


Why is it called The Thing of the Moment?

The Thing of the Moment refers to the act of taking photos and putting them online. The Thing of the Moment never refers to the subject, ever. The name came from a friend who has never seen The Thing of the Moment but has seen me taken interest in a wide range of thing and then just as quickly lose interest. Once when I asked her if she wanted to see The Thing of the Moment she replied, "Do I have to?"

Why do you call it a monumental and majestic work of epic proportions?

Have you SEEN this bastard?

Why do you call yourself 'your lowly and humble photographic servant.'

Photographer seemed like a bit of a stretch and dishonest.

Why are there no images of you on here? Were you grossly disfigured saving children from a house fire or grossly disfigured in a house fire as a child yourself? Are you a hunchback?

No. I take lots of self portraits and look and sigh lovingly at them and kissing my computer monitor, but I don't put them on here because The Thing of the Moment is not about me. The War on Terror and the Designated Hitter Rule? Yes. The Thing of the Moment? No.

Do you sell images?

Not as a rule. They are generally to be enjoyed online with accompanying text. Some make great desktop backgrounds. I've been known to give them away for photo credit, send digital copies if given a good reason, or have them ripped off my unscrupulous local publishers. If I charge anything for an image it's usually to discourage someone from asking for free images they don't really want just to be polite or to cover the expense of producing it.

Why don't you sell images?

Because I love all my images equally and if I sold some, I wouldn't understand why all the others didn't sell.

We need a photographer. Anyone. Just a Monkey with a camera. Can I hire you to take photos?

No. If it's fun/interesting/other I might do it for free. It's like Hunter Thompson once said about sex: "It's fun for amateurs but old whores don't giggle much." Besides, I'm terribly lazy and unreliable when paid to do something. Ask my employers. However, if I take an interest in your project, I become obsessed and do it to the exclusion of everything else spending more time on it than you can ever afford to pay any rational person. (I've been known however, to accept tips, gratuities, cash tributes, honoraria, gifts, and/or patronages, faint praise, loose change, what have you.)

I am, by training and profession, a speech language pathologist, and the same way I suggest if you are in a hospital intensive care unit unable to eat or speak that it may not be in your BEST interest to rely on an AMATEUR speech language pathologist, I stongly suggest you consider a professional photographer for your professional photography needs.

Do you do weddings?

God, no! Although I'll photograph your divorce. I want to be the world's greatest Divorce Photographer one day. Besides, you don't want me at your wedding anyway. Ask my ex-wife.