What with your free health care, US saving you from one World War after another, and your Government subsidized youth hockey programs.
Thaaaat's right. That's what I said.
Here is the US, you can't get in or out of a WalMart without some youth shaking a coffee can in your face and begging you to help support ________ youth hockey. There are over 17,500 youth hockey teams in Maine alone. All of them bearing coffee cans.
This is where you Euros come in.
No one wants your money even though 1 Euro is now worth about 37 US Dollar thanks to George W Bush. So I had my European friends send me some throw away money which I carry in my LEFT pocket and when the coffee cans come running, I sadly reach in and explain how I'd love to give if only I had more than a few Euros, a kopek, and a handful of Ukrainian subway tokens.
I can barely keep from breaking into song and dance as I make my way back to my car with my $1.37 in change safely stashed in my RIGHT pocket.
Thank you, Europe.
love,
jkirlin, American cheapskate.
You could just say no? I guess your method beats kicking them though.
ReplyDelete"The coins. Don't forget my COINS. I don't want any of that miso and plum candy and shit. JUST SEND ME MY DAMN COINS"
ReplyDeleteYou shock me.
ReplyDeleteI should have thought of that first.
Hey Cheapskate -- I bet you don't let them get ketchup in the lunchline either.
ReplyDeleteCoffee cans? Coffee cans???? Who has coffee cans? I thought the youth hockey leagues all went to Starbucks by now. That's what they are doing with your change you know...One decaf frappuccino, please.
ReplyDelete